Pregame: Taj Williams looks EXACTLY like Detroit Lions great WR Herman Moore. Look this up.
Q1-13:19 [Rubs eyes] 2nd 1st down for KU… picking up where we left off last week.
Q1-12:36 How many times have we seen Denzel Johnson make that play?
Q1-11:52 Moments after cracking my first beer, Nick Orr intercepts. KU QB hit harder than an Oklahoma co-ed on that play.
Q1-11:23 Moments before cracking my second beer. Kenny Hill is intercepted. Stared the route down… again.
When my KU crew tells me how great their basketball team is (when we’re obviously discussing college football), it’s logically equivalent to saying “My kid can’t count to 20, but he can draw the most kickass anime robots.”
Q1-11:13 Robo-Referee says runner down & 4th down. Dez White makes a rare mistake catching punt inside the 5 which is the logical equivalent of running over the curb during your driving test.
I’ve done no research on Kansas, but I’m going to assume that we’re making them look MUCH better than they actually are.
Q1-8:52 Emanuel Porter with long reception. [Dear Fort Worth breweries, I’d like a beer called “Emanuel Porter”.]
Q1-8:36 Sack fumble KU ball. [Makes call to wife for more beer]
Q1-7:43 NFL should take note. Denzel Johnson is a taller D Kindred.
Q1-6:21 Footlocker ref shows up with interference flag against TCU. No video replay… I’ll just take their word for it.
Q1-6:02 KU Scores up 7 – nil on the Frogs. Early surveys indicate TCU playing like they were looking past KU on the schedule this week.
I’m sure Coach P is taking this all in stride and maintaining a calm demeanor about this morning’s shenanigans.
35 seconds later and we’re punting. We should probably start running the ball a little more. The list of great KU defensive linemen could fit on a pack of gum. Just an idea.
Niko Small is a thumper, I’ve noticed this over the last few games.
Q1-4:40 – KU converts 3rd & long. It’s pride time now Froggies.
Q1-3:51 – Obviously monitoring killerfrogs.com Travin Howard responds with pick. He is always welcome at my table. Glad he & Johnson are still pulling the weight for this team.
Q1-2:26 – Let’s keep running the ball. This Hicks guy seems like a real straight shooter.
This Ref has definitely visited the Low-T center IMO.
Q1-1:12 – Then we miss a 38 yard field goal. My iPhone4 is about to rattle apart from all the text notifications from my A&M, Tech and OU friends talking that trash. I’m going to use their work addresses to sign all of them up for “Plumpers” and “Exotic Animal Quarterly”.
I’m also registering them for “Cat Facts” texts. They did this to themselves.
Q2-14:28 – Well, I’m going to be useless for the rest of the day.
Still plenty of good seats available…
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit taking vodka shots before noon.
Q2-10:40: GMFP must have threatened to torch some cars in the parking lot. Frogs with fumble recovery.
Q2-9:59 Set up deep in Kansas territory. Kyle Hicks with the short TD run. Can we run this guy more? Please? [confused facial expression]
I’m going to start calling the process to produce methamphetamine “The Naismith Rules”.
Q2- 8:25 Great play on the long pass by KU. They’re definitely making some plays.
Q2- 7:33 Then they throw it into coverage again. Possible holding early in the play is ignored (as it should be).
Q2- 5:45 Review in these games is like hitting the pause button on foreplay to make a grocery list.
KU band playing the hell out of “Carry on Waymard Son” right now. Bending it to their will.
Q2- 4:57 Flag wipes out KU first down.
Q2- 3:41 KU with a long FG and now up by 3. [long exhale]
Q2- 2:16 Kyle Hicks with another tough run for the 1st down.
Q2- 1:31 Very nice Kenny Hill run for 18 yd TD. Things are calming down.
If they ever invent a waistband that’s comfortable for Coach P it will make a billion dollars. I think the technology is impossible with the current understanding of physical laws. We might have to steal from extra-terrestrials.
Halftime. The wife just surprised me with some Brazilian cheese bread. I am the luckiest man alive.
AIG Direct commercials exploit a bleak dystopian future.
The Notre Dame vs NC State looks awful. Standing water on the entire field.
The “Get up and Go” cane will result in some hip reconstructions. Let’s hope gramps runs a few bench tests before walking to the park by himself.
The stands are utterly empty. This is a problem for the league.
Yet another 3rd & long situation.
Q3- 12:18 Another pick thrown by K Hill. I haven’t seen deflection like that since the most recent Baylor press release.
Q3 – 11:34 Trouble in coverage & we give up another big play.
Q3- KU field goal has them trailing by 1.
Did you folks know Bell peppers have the highest concentration of vitamin C among fruits & vegetables?
Q3- 8:51 We’re getting a little predictable on these intermediate 3rd downs.
Going to hit up Brett Favre to endorse my metal helmets that keep you safe from people who want to tell you their problems.
Q3- 6:44 Long pass play nearly results in TD for the Jayhawks. Why don’t they just call him Speedy?
Q3- 5:54 The ruling on the field is that this ref definitely wears the Oakleys with the built in headphones.
Q3- 3:42 The announcers just said “Upset Alert”. We were not ready to play this game. Plenty of time Frogs. Let’s get a stop here and put them away.
Q3- 2:49 TCU holds. OK gents… step #1 is accomplished. Step #2 now…
Q3- 1:13 Perhaps we should cover step #2 again…
Q3- 0:29 Another play by KU. Touchdown. KU now up by 9.
End of the 3rd Quarter
Q4- 15:00 Gotham Steel sounds like an adult performer’s screen name.
Q4- 14:17 I think I’m either blasted or that really just happened.
“Sweetheart, that reminds me. I think we’re out of dish soap and Swiffers.”
Q4- 13:54 Nice touchdown for Jalen Austin. Frogs down by 2 now. I’ll need to take a nap after this.
Q4- 11:13 KU already in the red zone. TCU needs to hold to FG here.
Q4- 10:37 Josh Carraway with a sack. Nice work Josh. [Virtual fist bump]
Q4- 9:25 Frogs gifted a field goal miss. The door is open.
Q4- 8:23 3rd and 4. Offensive pass interference called on John Diarse. Tricky call to accept or decline.
Frogs punt and have pinned KU inside their own 15.
Q4- 6.27 Kansas is driving on us again. This is torture. Our tackling is atrocious.
Q4- 4:14 KU sets up for the 41 yarder and it’s no good. Let’s earn some scholarships gents.
Q4- 2:22 [Spongebob biting his fingernails gif]
Q4- 1:26 Brilliant bit of dirty boxing on KU’s attempt to ice the kicker with a Disturbed sample.
Q4- :49 Carraway with the sack on KU with the Frogs up by 1. 2nd & 15. KU with one timeout left.
Q4- :40 Carraway another sack. Can barely see the screen now. I’m going to be a handful with Uber drivers 2-nite.
Q4- :06 After channeling Boise State for the old Hook & Ladder play. The Frogs are bailed out by an offensive pass interference call against KU. Pass incomplete. Ugh. 54 yard field goal for the win…
The kick is no good. Nite Nite everyone.