Iowa State last season: Overall 3 Wins – 9 Losses (2-7, 9th in the Conference). Iowa State’s defense struggled mightily last year and surrendered more than 32 points per game. They were last in the Conference in turnovers and gave up more passing yards per game than Texas Tech. The offense wasn’t anything about which to write home either.  In total, to say that the Cyclones didn’t exactly knock the cover off the ball last year would be an understatement, but there was one glimmer of hope. ISU’s 24 to 0 home win against the Texas Longhorns was a precious gift to so many football fans like myself in the great State of Texas. 24 to nada, zip, zilch, zero… NOTHING. The ability to reference this game when chatting football with the waves of newly reemerged bandwagon UT fans is so much easier than walking the streets of Austin with both middle fingers constantly extended. It’s been a real time saver for me personally. Online sales of Bryan Adams’ LP Reckless likely spiked in Iowa as the Clones’ relationship with victory late last season was indeed a “One Night Love Affairâ€. They would drop their last 4 games by a combined score of 88 to 155.
Iowa State this season: 0 Wins – 2 Losses. The start of this season has been rough for the Ames faithful. Few eyebrows would have raised on the news of last week’s 39 point poleaxing at the hands of the Iowa Hawkeyes, but ISU’s home loss to FCS Northern Iowa would be enough to send any self-respecting fan to a dark place. Two decades ago, I was in the stands for TCU’s home loss against the Division 1-AA Northwestern State Demons and those scars have stayed with me. Of course, those scars are on my liver and most certainly the product of enough Jello shots to drown a Tiger Shark, but they are scars nonetheless. The morning after you’ve cried it out in the Burger King parking lot is a bleak one. You’re cold from having slept alone because slump-buster-trim enters witness protection after losses to directional Iowa. ISU has managed only 23 points in two games this season and the offense looks only slightly more effective than Baylor’s Title IX compliance office.
How the Frogs Stumble: Thus far, that punishing Frogs defense has only proven capable of causing some mild redness and irritation. Big wide receivers seem to give us some trouble and that’s really the only weapon that Iowa State has. ISU returns last year’s leading receiver in junior Allen Lazard, who at 6’5†and 223 lbs, is pretty tough to miss. A rare top recruit for the Cyclones, Lazard was the national composite #10 ranked wide receiver as a prep and hauled in 56 passes last year for 808 yards & 6 TDs. In Iowa State’s first two games of 2016, Lazard has already accounted for 240 yards receiving. Normally, I’d probably fill this portion of the piece with a story about how I once kidnapped a zoo animal, but not today people. After South Dakota State’s Jake Wieneke torched our secondary (8 rec, 196 yards, 2 TDs), I’m taking this more seriously. Let’s roll coverage to Lazard’s side and make ISU beat us somewhere else. Even writing this makes me cringe since I believe the Cyclone’s chance of beating us is only slightly lower than the probability that you’ll see a stripper pole in the old folks home next time you go visit gramps. However, I have been wrong before… after all one day Big Boi & Andre 3000 will eventually retire and old habits die hard.
How the Frogs Triumph:  Iowa State doesn’t stop the run very well and their pass defense makes the Red Raiders look like a cohesive unit. On offense, they’re as experienced as a band in the average high school talent show. The Cyclones are starting a new quarterback, a new running back and four new faces on an offensive line that returns 25 total career starts. And how about we clean it up a little fellas? Let’s tackle effectively. Let’s hold on to the football. Let’s leave the interpretation of religious symbols to monks and aboriginal dance troupes. Execution isn’t just something that involves anti-aircraft cannons in North Korea.