Jackson State Has A Football Team and We’re Playing Them

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When I realized that the first full week of college football was upon us, I was happier than when the Senator offered to send me to Plum Island for a weeks’ vacation once a year.  Tradition demands that fans fight through the interminable dross of Tier 1 college football teams matched against lower division squads.  It’s a win-win.  Penn State gets to work out the bugs against the Waukesha State Lignite Shovelers and Shoveler Nation can claim at least one crowd larger than the Gloucester Cheese Roll.  This phenomenon is not to be confused with Alabama’s mid-season game against The University of Tennessee – Howenwald or Alabama’s early-October fracas vs Southern Arkansas State – El Dorado campus.  Apologies in advance for even mentioning these bedrock truths of college football.

The Frogs, however, will never lose to a lower division team like Northwestern State of Natchitoches, Louisiana or give up 40 to a squad from a plains state with 1 tall wide receiver (not the team… the whole state has 1 tall wide receiver).  That’s silly talk.  It’s as implausible as taking a wide receiver, converting him to quarterback, then moving him back to receiver, then moving him to quarterback again and then having that player go on to an All-American season and the NFL.  Who thinks up these things?

Regardless, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t, at the very least, mention Jackson State and since I know far more about Acherontia Styx (and really any South-Asian fruit pests for that matter) than Jackson State’s roster or tactics, I thought I’d mention a few general facts about Jackson State University for your amusement.

The Best of the Best: The Jackson State Tigers claim 3 alums (Lem Barney, Jackie Slater and Walter Payton) among those enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  This ties them with TCU’s mark in the category (Sammy Baugh, Bob Lilly and LaDainian Tomlinson).  This fact is presented without comment.

Bands a Make Them Dance: The Tiger band, nicknamed “The Sonic Boom of the South”, has been active since the 1940’s (though they still can’t lift the jock straps of my beloved Southern University band).  To my knowledge, they have not sued either Bret Bielema’s digestive tract or the sound made by bags of cash hitting Ole Miss recruits’ doorsteps for trademark infringement.

21st times the Charm: The Tigers haven’t been to the FCS playoffs in 20 years and their next win will be their first in 13 tries.  I’m certainly not saying that they’re overmatched, but if they win tomorrow I’ll eat my ticket while wearing a chicken costume.

 

Go Frogs!

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